No Candidate Deserves My Vote!
Never let the name fool you, this is actually a registered political party. There is no clear candidate as such, no real manifesto, in fact there isn’t much at all. Acting as a kind of pressure group, N.C.D.M.V advocates a ‘none of the above’ option in ballot papers for elections in the UK. Founded in 2000, N.C.D.M.V argues that such an option on ballot papers would increase voter turnout by up to 33% and would virtually eliminate spoiled ballot papers.
Unfortunately, the party has had little political success in the number of local elections it has appeared in. Party member Eric Mutch plans to stand as a candidate in Bristol South after changing his name by deed poll to ‘Zero None of The Above’, hoping to capitalise on their best electoral performance when the party polled an astonishing 3.16% of the vote in the Sopwell ward during the St. Albans Local Council elections in May 2002. A vote for this party would be a protest vote, but then again you could just save your time by spoiling your ballot paper, or not voting at all.
Unofficial website: http://www.nocandidate.org.uk/
Communist Party of Great Britain (Marixist-Leninist):
Ever missed the good old days of potential Mutually Assured Destruction and queuing for bread? Well these guys may be able to bring back the glory days with their resounding support of North Korea’s right to defend itself and claims that the Islamic State was invented by imperialists. You seriously could not make this shit up, with their website plastered with videos of aging Marxist-types with Che Guevara discussing an imminent revolution amongst their comrades. It seems so far removed from the modern world, where many of the confused ideas they profess seem as if they have come straight from Stalinist Russia. This being said, the YouTube channel of the C.P.G.B (M-L) is called ‘Proletarian TV’, with banners of Joseph Stalin on the homepage. The electoral success has been negligible since its formation in 2004 (no, not 1904), however these days the U.S.S.R is not around to prop up political takeovers so their future looks bleak. Democracy sucks right?
Official Website: http://www.cpgbml.org/
Or Britain Ninth, if we look at their 9th place finish at the Rochester and Strood by-election (56 votes). Perhaps a more notable splinter of the fledgling British National Party (BNP), Britain First vows to preserve ‘British culture’ and stop the ‘Islamification of Britain’. Interestingly, Britain First utilises what it describes as ‘Mosque Invasions’ and ‘Christian Patrols’.. need I say more? Well maybe. On their official website, they recently published an article entitled ‘BRITAIN FIRST: A POLITICAL PARTY SUFFERING PERSECUTION, SABOTAGE AND HINDRANCE LIKE NO OTHER!’, but I do wonder if sabotaging and hindering places of worship has much to do with this.
Official website: https://www.britainfirst.org/
Wessex Regionalist Party:
When we think of the ancient Anglo-Saxon kingdom of Wessex, we think of paganism, hog roasts at jousting tournaments and hanging out with invading Vikings, why not bring the good times back? Well you can by voting for the Wessex Regionalist Party! But seriously, there are more pressing issues at hand here: self rule for Wessex. Wessex loosely covers modern day Berkshire, Devon, Dorset, Hampshire, Wiltshire and a number of other areas in the South West England. I must admit, there is something cute and cuddly about this political party. The ‘aim’’ of the party is to promote a ‘Wessex Identity’ (which I am not sure actually exists), Democracy, the Environment, ‘the World’ (a bit ambitious for Wessex), and ‘Enjoyment’. Well I like all of those things, especially ‘Enjoyment’ so I think we should all vote for the Wessex Regionalist Party. Lets hope party leader Colin Bex can improve on his 30 votes he received in the Eastleigh 2013 by-election.
Official website: http://www.zyworld.com/wessex/
The Idle Toad Party:
Looking to represent the lovely people of South Ribble, Lancashire are the folks at the Idle Toad Party. Still a registered political party, it’s history began when a disgruntled Labour Party councillor was deselected in 1997 and had founded a local newsletter by the name of ‘Idle Toad’. The party itself was founded in 2002 upon being registered with the Electoral Commissioner and had three councillors by 2007. Unfortunately for Idle Toad, storm clouds gathered and two of the three councillors jumped ship to the Conservative Party. To make matters even worse, the accompanying Idle Toad newspaper denounced one of their defecting councillors Jim Marsh as a ‘defecator’ (not defector) which led to a defamation lawsuit. Party leader Tom Sharratt argued in court that this was a ‘misprint’ and should have been spelt as ‘defector’. The court later ordered Sharratt to apologize to Marsh and during the 2013 Lancashire local elections, the Idle Toad Party lost it’s only seat. I do feel a little bit sympathetic to the Idle Toad Party because at the end of the day, we are all defecators in one way or another..
Official website and/or newspaper: http://lob.org.uk/Idletoad/
By Stuart Chapman (@SP_Chapman)
Junior Writer at Daily Political View